For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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