captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
