Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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