do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
