Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
