just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
