honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
