Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
