You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
