actually, I'm a sock model
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We're not piercing ourselves today.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
