So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
