it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize