Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
