Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize