Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
