Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
