Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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