There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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