Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
