seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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