Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
