Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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