How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
