Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
