did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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