dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
it's great music for shaving your balls
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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