K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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