my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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