to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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