i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
