I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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