it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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