All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
