Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize