i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
