Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize