I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
