so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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