He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
