WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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