Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
