The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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