I'm sorry my penis didn't work
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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