Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
