You made me cry and you don't even care
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
