He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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