party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
