I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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