I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You dont lie about slip and slides
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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