When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
