No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
