its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
