if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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