turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize