I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
