she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
