i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
