just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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