Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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