i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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