dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
