Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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