weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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