And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
