we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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