I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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