I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
