Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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