Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
